1,2,3, JUMP

48 Hours after leaving our wedding reception (closing the festivities out at 11pm) we arrived in Big Bear and the kids were ours again. Sure we saw them Sunday at church, and dinner at my sisters house, but we did leave them in the care of their Mimi and Aunt Jennifer for the 1st part of our new life together. Just weeks before the wedding Tim had been awarded temporary full custody.  Their mother had been forced by life decisions to move to Los Angeles, CA and it had been agreed that the kids would return to AL for school. This meant that I would now be a full time stepmother.

I had known since a month after our engagement that this could happen so it was not a surprise. I trusted that what was right for the children would be the outcome and prepared myself to be a full time mom and newlywed. This also meant that our Honeymoon would become a 'familymoon' and that the kids first day of school would be the Monday after we returned. Nothing like jumping right into it all. Life has never happened slowly for me, its all or nothing. This would be no exception.

So on Tuesday morning after our wedding we packed the truck, waved goodbye to my folks from the driveway of the family cabin in Big Bear and all six of us (Tim, me, 3 kids and a dog) began our drive home to Mobile, AL. This would be the first of many trips we hope to have as a family. Five days in close quarters will teach you a lot quickly. I thank my own parents for the road trips in my childhood, and especially my mother for helping me prepare the 'road kit' of things for the kids to do. I felt a sadness leaving my home and family but anticipation of gaining my own family that my husband now trusted me with the position of mother.

I was not going to be the kind of woman who sat quietly by and made my husband do all the discipline. Tim and I had agreed that we were co-parenting.  I knew from my experiences with children and young people that you have to set the boundaries firm from the beginning. I wanted to be the step-mom that changed their lives. Taught them new things, taught them how to enjoy life, taught them what stability looks like.  We had agreed that I would follow Tim's lead and when I felt that it was unfair, or saw something that I thought should change we would talk about it first between us and then as a family. This is still challenging as I am not used to keeping my opinion to myself until its "the right time" to be heard.