I saw a glimpse of my old life yesterday. The life before I had kids, when I was a single, working, thirty-something woman. Small house of my own, no one else at home when I arrived from work. My pets were the only ones who needed feeding daily and I could watch ANYTHING I wanted on TV ANYTIME! Peaceful, quiet, my house, my way. Ahh the life of a working gal.
Occasionally I miss the routine and the organization of my former life, but I love the life I have choosen. Up early in the morning, nip the kids heels to get them ready on time, snacks packed, homework checked, "get your jacket on, the bus will be here soon." Laundry, clean the kitchen, vacuum, bills, shopping, menu for the week, cook, wife, mother. . I manage a household and I love it!
My days were previously filled with intellectual stimulation, juggling e-mails, scheduling visitors from around the world and country, publicity for events, plan board meetings, answer phones, talk students through crisis and course selection for their BA degrees, financial reconciliation of MULTIPLE accounts, tasks I can't begin to explain. I titled myself "Event Planner Extrodinaire". Graduate students came to me to figure out the complexities of getting paid to do their research, travel to the archaeological dig sites.
My nights could be a quiet dinner at home, walk the dog and watch TV, or happy hour with the gals from the office, and if I wanted I could find a dance spot and boogie my tush off! All a far away world from where I am now.
Now my nights begin at 3:40 when my 3 stepkids run in the door after school. It's "hand me your homework folders" figure out who has the most homework, and prioritize who I need to spend the most time tutoring. I usually let them play a bit which means I have to answer 50 questions from each of them about "do I have to change out of my school clothes? What can we do? Can we watch Avatar (yes I now know cartoon network shows) Can we shoot the BB gun? Will you come jump on the trampoline with us? What is for dinner (they ask this at least every 10 minutes)". After about an hour of this banter, I set them all up at different places in the house to start their homework as I cook dinner. I have learned to make a menu, if I plan ahead what the main course of dinner will be it is one less decision to make at 5pm when my brain is trying to do 2nd & 4th grade math, figure out strategies to teach them HOW to study, and try to listen to at least one of them read aloud as I am cooking dinner.
TV is a treat in our house. I have long believed that kids don't need to be entertained as much as they need their brains stimulated to learn. Before the invention of the TV families had dinner together, kids learned from their parents, discussion among the family happened. Kids read books to learn information. I want that for my kids, I want them to learn how to learn. I want them to talk to us over dinner. So they get maybe an hour a day if they are lucky. We sit down to dinner at my grandmothers table almost everynight, I know she would be proud.
My poor husband has had to learn that the kids learning is a priority. Most nights he would both like to 'tune out' by tuning in to the current sporting event. I would love to 'tune in' to the evening news, prime time crime show and all the other entertainment. Alas, we try to keep the TV off until after 9pm when the kids go to bed. The kids just can't help but be captivatied by WHATEVER is on the TV. They become zombie like as soon as it is turned on, so we just leave it off. A far cry from my previous life when I turned the News on as soon as I came home.
I glimpsed at my former life through the eyes of one of my husbands customers. She had her house broken into just weeks after he had sold her all new windows, so in effort to save her some money he offered to order replacement windows and install them when they arrived. She had a little old house in an older part of Mobile, tiny kitchen, two little dogs, and a nice porch which she obviously liked to use. Much like my own house in San Diego. She mentioned how much she liked living alone, and how at the end of her busy talkative day she liked to come home to just the dogs. I was a nice memory looking back to that time in my life.
I wouldn't trade my new life for anything. I love being a wife and a mother. I knew in my heart that although I may never give birth, I would someday have children. That day has come and I embrace every moment even when I am tired of hearing my name called 60 times in 2 minutes. I love helping them experience new things in life, I love helping them learn, and I love when they beg me to stay in their classroom or beg me to fall asleep with them when I say goodnight.
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